Wednesday, September 14, 2011

It's Alright To...

Ever since I was in school, I have found it difficult to be ‘successful’, ‘to make friends’, to ‘blend in’. Often I have felt left out, when I was home alone reading or watching Friends and binging on pizza (cheese burst) on a Saturday night, wondering what’s wrong with me. And I have often wondered why I NEVER get approached by guys. Surely, NOBODY can be THAT ugly/dumb. Then when I started working, my dad’s banker friends will often try to ‘counsel’ me about the exciting and rewarding career opportunities in investment banking and I would feel ashamed of my mediocre aspirations (of being the writer of mediocre, light-hearted books). But with years of experience and ‘wisdom’ behind me, I have learnt to accept myself as I am.

I think it’s alright that I don’t like to party every night, that I don’t have to drink and smoke up thrice a week and that I don’t find it cool to get sloshed, make out with random strangers and pass out.

There are enough drinkers/dopers/smokers in the world, without me trying to be yet another wannabe…

I think it’s alright that I am NOT ‘helplessly feminine’ and I can travel alone, eat alone in a restaurant, roam around on bikes with brokers past 10 p.m. or give directions to the cab driver without a guy to ‘take care of me’.

There are enough damsels in distress, without me trying to twirl my hair or bat my eyelashes…

I think it’s alright that I am feminine enough to love baby pink, to prefer dresses/skirts or to match my shoes/clothes/handbags/accessories.

There are enough ‘sensibly dressed intellectual women with thick-rimmed glasses and flat kolhapuri chappals, without me trying to fit in as a ‘woman of substance’…

I think it’s alright that I don’t chase the carrot called ‘front-end investment banking’, that I am happy being a good analyst rather than an average relationship manager and that I would rather go on a vacation to Kashid beach than to Phuket for a client visit.

There are enough smooth-talking, high-flying bankers, without me trying to be the next Naina Lal Kidwai…

I think it’s alright to be the best Nefertiti I can, even though it’s not conventionally ‘cool’, ‘attractive’ or ‘successful’.

17 comments:

survivingbrain said...

well, yes.

No one CAN be like anyone else. when they try to be, they lose. Its not only alright, but it is the best to be comfortable with who you are.

Nefertiti said...

@survivingbrain
and it's the easiest :) in the long run, the mask is bound to slip off, so might as well be ugly from the start

AKG said...

You are fine, don't worry!

On the other side! said...

Beautifully put...you couldnt have put it better :) While i was reading the post I felt this was me talking...why do have to be stereotyped or classified all the time....why cant we just be us?

Imperfectionist said...

wateva it is.. We love you :)

Nefertiti said...

@AKG
Thanks... I would like to believe you.

@ On the other side
ohh I love to stereotype (otherwise it's tough to rant), as long as I am not a victim :)

@Impressionist
who is 'we'? and do i have to say 'thank you' and 'same here' and all of that meaningless platitudes

Imperfectionist said...

Me and panday ji (he doesn't have the laptop, so I write for him). He misses you :P

Please write same here for him :P

Nefertiti said...

I think you need more work...

And i hope pandeyji is still entertained now that all the high-heeled pretty girls from FSI have left :)

Bhuvi said...

hey! stumbled across yr blog via the compulsive confessor, and being a MBA type myself, found myself reading all yr archives!
love this post. i think its a dilemma many of us struggle with. the dilemma of accepting ourselves as we are.
the ever-drinking, partying friendly extroverted 'junkie' is overrated.
when did being an introvert become an insult?

anyhow, glad the self-acceptance came about.

like yr style of writing. its very banter-like, friendly! :)

Nefertiti said...

@Bhuvi

welcome and thanks for sharing that looong comment. love it when other people identify with my thoughts. there should be some kind of an 'introvert club' where all of us can gather, be quiet and do our own things without letting the silence get on our nerves

Neil said...

MMA star Tito Ortiz said it best “I’m not the next somebody. I’m the first Tito Ortiz”.

Nefertiti said...

@neil

u r back u r back u r back :) :) :)

Neil said...

Grunt !

Nefertiti said...

@neil
so u r back as a PIG... m not complaining... as long as u r back

Neil said...

Birds of a feather flock together ....

Mea Culpa said...

Like Bhuvi above, I ran across your blog through Compulsive Confessor's too :)

Your bong-ness is charming, having been privy to a smattering of bong friends myself. As is your writing. All in all, I identify with friendly introverts and your blog resonates much of what I'd love to read!

Kudos!

Nefertiti said...

@mea culpa
welcome and thanks so much... I wouldn't call myself an authentic bong, but yea, it does resonate once in a while in my writing.

As for being a "friendly introvert" isn't that bit of an oxymoron? and i take comfort in the fact that there are lot of us around...