Not the best time to blog with an exam tomorrow: some technical subject during which I usually (correction ALWAYS) google, blog or chat!! And I find no convincing reason to study it either. Sighhhhh….. it’s going to be a long night!!
The last few days I had been ruminating and having lots of philosophical thoughts, thanks to my established old age. The thing is I have always been a shy, unsocial and introverted person and for so long I was pretty happy with being myself. Now I somehow feel a little apologetic for my insignificant existence which I really shouldn’t. Just because I am a would-be MBA doesn’t automatically make me a glib talker nor does it make me one of those extremely popular, bright and enthusiastic young things brimming with ideas. Sigh…… so I was always dull and boring and dim-witted (but cute); just that now everybody knows it!!! But again why should I care: the problem is I do!
Thanks to one sweet adorable faculty (a female faculty before you get ideas) who thinks I am very good but extremely shy (which I can’t afford to given that I have to deal with the media), for the first time I feel sorry for the way I am!! Why why why???? I have no problems being alone (it’s dying alone that I am worried about), I have no image issues (I am secure in my anonymity) and I am not the social kind; so why can’t she just leave me alone in my miseries and not look at me with those kind eyes which make me flinch uncomfortably. I still read through her encouraging and appreciative emails like they were some romantic love letters (incidentally I have forgotten when was the last time I got any of those…. Anyways let’s not get into my non-existent love life) but I wish to god that I can just retire to my own shell with no haunting pangs of guilt. I think am going to start a new anonymous blog and bask in the glory of my anonymity talking about my anonymous boy friends! The key word is “anonymous”, and no, none of you morons will have access to it!!! Go get a life and let me live my anonymous existence!! Yes, that applies to even the doe-eyed dean!