Friday, December 9, 2011

You Gotta Be (kidding me)

I have always been a true blue GIRL, in every sense of the term. I don’t get a perverse pleasure running down women or their “annoying” habits like shopping, matching clothes/shoes/accessories, reading chicklit or watching demented movies/serials, because I DO ALL OF THOSE THINGS. And no, I don’t consider it “superior” to be a tomboy or being ‘one of the boys”. I am happy being slightly stuck-up, moderately shy, terribly moody and I don’t need to swear/smoke/drink/backslap/all of them together ‘to be different’.

Having said that, there are some things about women (no, let’s make it, most of the women I HAVE SEEN) which I don’t understand:

The washroom bonding: Why is it that in any public place, women tend to go to the washroom TOGETHER? Is there a scientific reason that automatically co-ordinates the physiological aspects when more than two women get together?

The changing room discussions: Why is it that women ALWAYS need a second opinion while shopping? If you look fat in that dress, you probably are. No friend waiting patiently outside the trial room can change the fact.

Elaborating minute details of personal lives: I totally subscribe to the ‘best friends forever’ and ‘sharing’ and ‘emotional support’ and all that jazz. But once you make me a part of your bedroom antiques on a daily basis, it makes me feel like I am in a threesome. Thanks but no thanks!

Spending ages on getting ready: I know we have long hair, lots of clothes which make it confusing to pick JUST ONE, make-up which we HAVE TO USE and shoes which DON’T GO WITH ANYTHING, but seriously, how long does it take to make up your mind? It’s NOT cute to be fashionably late when you are just trying to be fashionable.

The Wedding Fixation: How, I repeat how, can you think spending so much money, wasting so much time, taking so much trouble, going through painstaking planning for ONE SINGLE DAY is “all worth it because it’s THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE?” I mean HOW?

So men, don’t fret if you don’t understand women completely. I don’t either…

14 comments:

the.orchestra.of.life said...

I always wanted to know the answer to that first in you list ... I always found it pretty mysterious.

Makk said...

:)

Neil said...

So here is my post for the second time! If a guy wouldve written on the same topic, he wouldve still been typing a week after starting. And he would only be getting started by then. Women!

survivingbrain said...

*drunk comment alert*

Its easy to understand women. Women need at least three out of the following four:

1) pretty looks (to woo men)
2) Feeling of security - whatever happens, i-am-secure-feeling
3) Money,
4) The world has to know i have that exciting day/object/time/guy feeling.

any aspect of a girl, can be mapped into this. They are just built like that by nature, for which I call nature biased to women and cruel to men.

Men dont fret about not being able to understand women. they fret cause of the pain in the *** created by women :P


psst.. threesomes are good !! (not that i have the experience:D -just that two of the three have to be femme :P)

Nefertiti said...

@the.orchestra.of.life
even I find it pretty mysterious and no, I don't have the answer

@neil
haven't I told you n number of times, that my blog is NOT the place to vent your frustrations about women. For god's sake, I have visitors here. Go vomit somewhere where noone is watching... your blog, for instance!

and no, i did NOT delete the comment the first time.

@survivingbrain
umm... i tend to give people the benefit of doubt when they are drunk. so no comments on your LONGGGG comment...

Life Unordinary said...

All valid points Nefertiti. My explanation is that we're just wired that way. That's all. Blame the estrogen!

Nefertiti said...

@life Unordinary
ahhh... the estrogen indeed!!! the excuse for irrationality...

Carpe Diem! said...

So agree with you on the last one! How can you spend so much money, efforts and time for some day that's going to put them in the lime-light (thus making them an object for scrutiny) and leave them dog-tired. I mean it'd be "the most important day of their lives" and they wouldn't even notice it passing by while everyone else enjoys it a lot. :P

@sb: You are as non-sense as ever.

Nefertiti said...

@carpe diem

strangely, I have NEVER had fun in weddings... the very thought of attending one makes me run away as fast as possible.

~ Mohit said...

but for the washroom bonding (ok,I am not sure really. I havent seen thus reserve my opine) how is it different for guys ? I mean irrationality is not a chauvinist living being. Or is it ??? And its ok for guys to be like women ... Since vice versa is as much true ...

Nefertiti said...

@mohit

so guys also occupy the changing rooms for ages and crib, oblivious to the long queue behind them? or do they also take one hour to get ready? or beat themselves over wedding parties? that's a scary thought.

but yeah, I am sure there are other pet peeves that are more common in men. That calls for a different post altogether...

~ Mohit said...

Yeah and why not ??? You thought all of us are Shaktimaans ... Swoosh and done ... An undergrad batchee of mine used to take as much time to comb his hair as I used to take for getting ready ... And getting ready for parties ... Thats a different discussion altogether ... So generalization is fatal ... :-) ...
Yeah - Maybe a different post on men someday by you ofcourse ... :-) Would be interesting to hear a woman's account of men's lives ...

Kappu said...

Hhhhhahaa :D Can SO well relate to it! Especially the Social Networking and Privacy portions!

Love the write! Happy New Year there!

Do visit my blog! Would love to see you by! *cheers*

Nefertiti said...

@kappu
lol... thanks!