Disutilized!

I have touched an all time low, and I kind of exemplify what Rachael says in Friends: “Earlier I thought I had hit rock bottom, but now it’s like there is rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, and then me!” I so so know that feeling, but yeah, make that 100 feet of crap…

I mean when you are discussing monetization of debt, velocity of money and sub prime crisis at 3 in the morning, and that too after ten hours of banking nonsense at office, you know there is something seriously wrong with you. But curiously, now that we have an one month pilot project of no-alcohol situation, now that the movies running in the theatres are unpalatable and the near all time high body mass doesn’t allow me to eat out (the 20 bucks mini meal works wonders), these inane but at times ridiculously hilarious conversations are the only reason to smile, the only thing to look forward to and the only thing that keeps you together during these trying times.
With each passing week, I am more convinced that corporate life isn’t meant for me, or rather I am not meant for corporate life. Subtlety, diplomacy and conformance are not my cup of tea and every time I look at my 'kaam kaaj’ sheet, every time I question the meaningfulness (or the lack of it) of my existence, every time I feel like having my ‘cake’, I am reminded of my landlord, my eight creditors, and my impromptu shopping trips (I have decided that roadside shopping at Hill Road is the way to go. So no more malls for me or my children and grandchildren). Yes, as I struggle to survive this tug-of-war between utilization, efficiency and acknowledgement, as i fail to master the art of sms-ing and calls, as I give up on my ‘maverick’ and as I strive for my ‘cake’, these random conversations become the ‘stepping stone’ to deeper ones.