Being a "Bangali"...

I have been anointed a ‘farzi bong’ and justifiably so: I don’t like sweets, I don’t like fish, I don’t like tea, I don’t go gaga over communism or Sourav Ganguly, and I definitely don’t stall my life for four days during Durga Puja…

Speaking of Durga Puja, last weekend found the Bengali community of Mumbai gather around Puja pandals, over dressed and over enthusiastic. I spent a couple of days with my parents, visiting as many as TWO whole pandals (a personal best in 2 years) because it made them happy, talking to relatives over the phone wishing them Shubho Bijoya and telling them how much I appreciated the dresses they gifted me (when in reality most of them were too big for me… girls in Kolkata come in plus sizes). The whole act of being the true blue “probashi bangali” was kind of draining, and I heaved a sigh of relief as I went back to my own small place in “Chindi Valley”, to my own world of take away food, watching How I Met Your Mother on the laptop and late night show of The Ugly Truth.

Earlier I used to feel guilty for not being true to my culture, for being so confused about my identity, and blaming my shift to Mumbai as the prime reason for robbing me of my bongness. But the truth is I was always this way, even in school, even as a teenager. I never liked fish, I never liked sweets, I never drank tea, I never worshipped Sourav Ganguly and I never followed CPM’s ideology. Durga Puja was never about religion, it just gave me an excuse to wear new clothes and go out with family/friends which I get to do anyway and I no longer need an annual ritual for it. I have nothing against Bengali culture, just that right now I don’t have the luxury to cultivate ANY culture. I don’t go out of my way to emphasize my Bengali roots, but at the same time I don’t try to hide it. I have known Bengalis who don’t speak Bengali because they “have been out of Kolkata for ages”, but I don’t think I will ever forget my mother tongue irrespective of how many years I spend outside the state. So yes, for me, being a Bengali doesn’t imply that I conform to the idea of bongness; it’s just about being me: natural, spontaneous, and well, me! And yes, I do have a name which screams of bongness…

P.S. The first person to wish me “Happy Duserah” was my BROKER… may Durga Ma bless him!