Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Two Way Street
Sunday evenings are the worst: I am usually on the verge of a breakdown after two days of emptiness, loneliness, and nothingness. Also, the entire week stares in front of me, with nothing exciting to look forward to except the drudgery of work that you no longer care about, that you no longer want to do, and mostly with people you have spent 18 hours a day with in the recent past but cannot look in the eye right now. The only thing to look forward is random calls from placement consultants or potential recruiters!
While I have been too consumed with the job hunt, I kind of lost perspective of what is really important to me: family, a balanced happy life in a Tier 2 city, friends, vacations, spending my life with someone who is my best friend, and of course, making a career out of writing. Just as we had planned for the last one year.
Right now, I am doing things which are totally in conflict with those plans: running after a career in finance which really doesn’t interest me (and therefore screwing up in interviews), struggling alone in a big city and paying for all the vices (rent, traveling, loneliness) while the benefits of the city doesn’t excite me too much (a happening nightlife, array of options to eat out, party, and shop, and the sense of freedom), reconciling myself to the idea of being a corporate slave, staying away from family, and having a virtual relationship with my friends. Before I know it, I would be sucked into the life in a metro, and doing everything that an average Mumbaikar does, for reasons not clear to me.
So how does it make sense? It so doesn’t… but so doesn’t everything else…