Ode to Engineers

There was a time I aspired to be an engineer: I mean being a middle class Bengali girl in Kolkata with professional parents, that was all you could aspire for. This was also the time when I religiously followed cricket, listened to Britney Spears and wrote testimonials on Orkut.

Or as history would call it, the dark ages…

Now, to set the record straight, let me begin by saying that I simply adore engineers. I really do. I think they are the best thing that happened to mankind after beer. Ok, beer AND Leonardo DiCaprio. My kid brother is a nerdy programmer and no, I still haven’t disowned him. Even in B school, almost 80% of my batchmates were engineers and most of my closest friends still are. Of course, given that I work in an Investment Bank, where engineers are everywhere (like AAP party members), I thought I would begin with a tribute to this much maligned, misunderstood species who are really just uglier versions of Sandra Bullock lost in space in Gravity.

If you are a diehard Big Bang Theory fan as I am, you know what I am talking about. As brilliant as they are, these guys (and it’s mostly guys) simply can’t get their act together when it comes to a social event, lighting up the dance floor at a party or simply making conversation with a woman which doesn’t begin with, “So which is your favourite Star Wars/Star Trek character?” For the last time, we DO NOT care about superheroes, and NO, The Dark Knight is NOT our favourite movie. And no, we DO NOT find it fascinating to discuss the Modulus of Elasticity or G-Type Joist Girder as tea-time conversation. Similarly, it’s NOT cool to turn up everywhere dressed like Arvind Kejriwal nor is it acceptable to introduce yourself as , “Hi, myself Lovely Singh, IIT-Bombay 2011”. But yes, we do secretly adore you as much as we hate to admit it.

We love the way you fix things (laptops/HDDs/mp3s) AND how grateful you are for being given the opportunity to do so…

We love the way you save us from tears when we are struggling with last-minute assignments which involve Excel VBA, SQL, C++ and other acronyms we have no clue about…

We love the way you dig out the most appropriate movies/songs/series for our every mood even though we are so ungrateful…

We love the way you make us hot chocolate when we are upset even though it’s your birthday and we have no idea about it…

We love the way you crack the silliest coding jokes AND proceed to explain them even though we maintain a straight face every time…

We love the way you passionately go on for hours about the latest tablet /computers /iPhone /gadgets when we are really trying to figure out how to make a call from the godforsaken cellphone…

We love the way you drop us home or pick us up on a cold winter night after we are too tired from partying on a Saturday night while you were home worrying about us…

We love the way you patiently drive us around from one mall to another during the sale season, wait outside the changing room and patiently hold our handbag while we assume temporary insanity over clothes and shoes and yet ask for nothing in return…

We love the way you offer a shoulder to cry on after we screw up each time, every time…

We love the way you stay up the entire night to help a friend who needs you…

We love the way you surprise us with your acts of kindness even when we take you for granted…

But most of all, we love the way you stand up for us even when we don’t deserve it…

So, to all the engineers in my life: no matter how much we make fun of you, how much we slander you for your lack of social skills or how much we crib about your annoying habits, life wouldn’t be same without you guys!

To all the closet Sheldons out there, once upon a time, I wanted to be you, but you do a much better job!