Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Lighter Side of a Break-Up

I have been on a chick-flick spree: The Break Up, Turning 30, Break Ke Baad, and as far back as Hum Tum. So while I am at it, here is an indicative list of how a break up affects the stakeholders of the said break-up.

Benefactors of the break-up:
1.The respective companies: As they say, the best way to get over a break up is to focus on your career, and not give yourself time to think. So while you would keep disappearing for long breaks and regular lunches, start packing your bags sharp at 6 p.m. for your date and become “sick” often (mostly on Mondays and Fridays) during your relationship, suddenly the break up finds you spending 16 hours at work, putting in everything (and even taking inane trainings) and NEVER taking a leave. The two companies in question ain’t complaining!
2.Your respective friends: Let’s face it, while you were in a relationship, you had time only for each other and you found excuses/lies to get out of those shopping trips/Sunday brunches/drinking binges, so much so, that your friends gave up asking after some time. But suddenly, you are ALWAYS there, and secretly they are quite happy that you are single again!
3.Home delivery joints/ Internet service provider: This one is self-evident. You spend your weekends downloading copious GBs of movies/HIMYM/Friends, and ordering pizza/biryani/ice-cream.
4.Retail outlets/Salons/Electronic stores/ Beer bars: You feel this irrepressible urge to “do something different”. So you get yourself a whole new wardrobe, a new haircut, a spa treatment or that PlayStation III that you weren’t allowed to buy previously and go binge drinking on Friday nights.
5.Your parents: If they were against the relationship.

Victims of the break-up:
1.Movie theatres/restaurants: All those dates meant wasted money on movies you would otherwise NEVER watch or those overpriced restaurants which charged you extra just for sitting and talking. Well, who is crying now? (apart from yourself of course)
2.Cake/Gift shops: No more can Archies, RnB, Monginis and Brownie Point charge you exorbitant amounts for those cards/mugs/chocolate cakes for every occasion. Reminds me of the Hum Tum song: “Ladki Kyon”
3.Telephone companies: Suddenly you no longer spend three hours every night describing your day in excruciating detail. The loss is even more pronounced if it’s a long distance relationship. May be they should ALL start providing broadband services to hedge their risks. Vodafone, are you reading? Or may be not… god forbid, you turn into an Airtel!
4.Airlines/Railways/Travel agencies: A lot of traveling expense is curtailed due to a break up, especially for a long-distance relationship. Even if both parties are in the same city, MTDC or Volvo can no longer benefit from those weekend trips or impromptu getaways.
5.Your parents: If they were supportive of the relationship.

I have restricted myself to the top 5 list. Please feel free to add your contributions.

Also, on a totally different note, I went shopping at Marks and Spencer (awesome sale by the way). It seemed like they have a brand of jeans called ‘boyfriend’ and when I asked the sales girl for the price, she shouted at her colleague, “Oye, boyfriend pe kitna discount hai?” And that brought a smile to my face… couldn’t help it!


prachetash said...

Couldn't agree more with point no 2in the benefactor's list! And thank God for that... otherwise what would happen to the enormous amount of alcohol consumption, post break-up? Doing that alone, is not half as much 'fun'!

But, all the victims seem to be monetary victims! Aren't there any other kind of victims??

Hmmm... I am thinking...

Esha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Esha said...

Hey the one on telephone companies is too funny. phone bill amount is embarrassingly low these days.. And nowadays..whenever I overhear my colleagues talking to their boyfriends about their day in "excruciating" detail I feel like unplugging my comp and throwing it on their heads! get a life bitches!!

Nefertiti said...

Thank god for point no 2, thank god for friends, and thank god for F.R.I.E.N.D.S when friends aren't there. That F-word is the best possible cure when you are thinking of other F-words! And speaking of thinking, glad none of that has tranlated into I Am Thinking #2... Love your blog though :)

Well my phone bill has actually increased... there is a good explanation, but I am too lazy to explain! Speak to you soon... well there you see the explanation (STD calls to friends I didn't speak to before) :)