The Worst Hostess Ever

This weekend I became the kind of girl your mom warns you against: the kind that she would NEVER want as a daughter-in-law nor as an example for her teenaged daughter. So since I have been unsalaried for almost three months now and all this moving and setting up a place costs a bomb, and since a certain bank (stay away from Standard Chartered) refuses to give me my ATM card, I am seriously short on cash. So Friday, I had dinner and watched ‘No One Killed Jessica’ (brilliant movie by the way) on borrowed money, Saturday I got very expensive onions, cheap plastic chairs, cheap sandwich maker and a cheap (and therefore disastrous) haircut and Sunday I paid the plumber, which left me with no money at all.

But I had already invited the Jehadi Brothers (JBs) for my ‘house warming’ party. So I turned out to be the worst host ever in the history of hosts, as JB 1 did all the hard work and spent all the money: he bought the chicken, prepared the most yummy chicken curry that even my mom can’t, and in general got the party started, while I peacefully watched Band Baaja Baraat (and unexpectedly liked it) on my laptop, abused him for taking so much time to make the food and yes, cut half a tomato, as MY contribution.

I already had a bottle of fancy wine my dad had gifted me, sitting pretty in my fridge but JB 1 refused to drink it, asked me to order cheap Vodka instead, and left! So for the first time in my life I called for home delivery of alcohol. Mumbai never ceases to surprise me! And as luck would have it, they delivered it within 10 minutes, and there I was, standing at my door with an empty wallet and a bottle of vodka and a delivery boy in his JKWines uniform! Not a pretty sight! And I can only imagine what the neighbourhood aunties must have thought of me: seasoned alcoholic girl who has drowned all her money in booze and still can’t give up. Thankfully, after 10 minutes of humiliation as I went red in the face, JB 2 (and more importantly he got money with him) came and rescued me from the situation.

The rest of the evening was peaceful enough, as I drank for the first time this year, devoured the chicken and laughed at Oye Lucky Lucky Oye, Khosla Ka Ghosla and Dil Chahta Hai for the umpteenth time.

Life was good, life was fun, life was cheap, and life was simple again, if only for a few hours! Well, life was almost complete, but something was still missing…