Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Accused

I have never been a feminist; in fact quite the opposite. And I am always judgmental about women who are playing the victim or acting like damsels in distress, screaming out to the knight in the shining armour to save them.

Given my liberal upbringing and the complete freedom that a city like Mumbai offers, I have never felt insecure about being a single woman in a big city. I have been fortunate enough to have supportive friends, understanding parents and an independent lifestyle to live my life the way I want to. The only exception has been traveling alone, but that’s more of a mental block rather than anything else.

Unlike the women in other Indian cities, I have not felt claustrophobic, I have never needed a male escort to guide me home after dark and I don’t have to live under constant fear of harassment or molestation. I can breathe easy in a local train even at 11:30 p.m. or walk home alone at night, without being paranoid that some psycho is stalking me. So in my perfect world, cases of women being violated in a public transport or in broad daylight or in a police station are newspaper articles, which shock me, but fades into the background once Virat Kohli scores yet another century.

Until I read this article. While I had read about these isolated incidents before, there is something monstrously graphic about the way it’s written. Moreover, when these different events in different cities are put together, it makes you shudder: Do we really live in a civilized society? Are these people actually around us in the guise of family, friends, neighbours, teachers, acquaintances or even friendly strangers across the road? How can they stoop to such levels when they have mothers/sisters/wives at their own homes?

Today we celebrate Rakhsa Bandhan across the country. But before you tie that rakhi, take a moment and ask yourself, “Who is the person who really requires to be protected here?”

India has been labelled as the worst place for a woman of all the G20 nations, even worse than Saudi Arabia. The reason is not far away, may be even as close as the next door…


Heathcliffs Girl said...

Wait a second, are you saying feminism is equal to or glorifies women to play damsels in distress or wait longingly for the knight?

Nefertiti said...


umm no... these are two extreme ends and all I mean is I don't subscribe to either. Anyway if the misunderstanding made you comment on my post after so long, then I guess it's worth it :)

Makk said...

thought of writing you mail but then email you have given here is not valid so that told me you actually dont want to receive them.

Well, your wish.

what did I want to write?? Well, if I could that here, why should have I thought writing mail in first place?

make sense? no?

Forget it.. I blabber too much at times..

deeps said...

This is another war of independence that need to be fought and fought by women not spearheaded by any men…

survivingbrain said...

its the way people are brought up. Girls and boys need to interact more, right from a very young age. In India, the fake morality prevents from having these interactions, and most of the guys who grow up without knowing how a woman is like, ends up having less respect to women.

But i agree to the feminism part. Most of the females who subscribe to the typical 'feminist' concept have no respect to men either. I have myself vitnessed many cases where girls 'use' their gender to harass men, and in most of the divorce cases I have mediated, almost 90% of the stories by the girl are fabricated, just to get more money from the guy, as the guy has much less support from the law.

I am not being a pessimist, but this condition wont change for a bit. Because, new generations has to come, who can think freely. OR, the law need to be too strict, the downside being innocent guys being punished for no crime they did.

Nefertiti said...


umm... my email address is quite valid.

well, it's more like a war against bestiality and the hypocritical society which condones these actions, so I think plenty of men would also feel strongly about it.

and welcome to the blog!

whoa! judging by the length of that comment, I sincerely think you should write a post on it yourself :) But yea, I do agree with you that our society and our cocooned upbringing contribute to the situation.

ssoggo said...

Is it feminism that I cry easily and that there have been times i've used my tears to get my way? is it still feminism that I have fought like a bulldog when cowed down my (gentle?)men at the workplace who feel that their superiority should not be questioned?

I don't fear the dark or late nights or walking alone in a street filled with rowdy men. I don't scare easily and I roll my eyes at those who do.

but there are instances when some b******s like the kind filmed in assam can cause outrage.. and it can happen to anyone, not just women.. haven't there been cases of men being murdered by large gangs in broad daylight?

Nefertiti said...


i can't comment on what constitutes feminism and what doesn't. I also can't comment how vulnerable it is for women to walk alone in the streets after hours in not-so-safe cities. But what I can say is that just because we have been extremely lucky so far to live in a world which has been relatively egalitarian, we often tend to be blind to the ugly India which is probably more prevalent across the country.

Makk said...

it says

its valid? really? which domain is it using??

Nefertiti said...


yes, plenty of people STILL mail me on that address. You could have just dropped the mail before assuming it's not valid.

Makk said...

humm... you are surely right, assumptions are big problem i see.

:), sorry for getting on your nerves... may be just for a while..:)

we have a freedom of being stupid once in a while at least if not regularly. dont we?