So for someone who has spent roughly one-seventh of her life (including this weekend) in the trial rooms of different stores across the world, I can safely vouch for myself as some sort of a subject matter expert when it comes to identifying different patterns in a mall, especially during the Sale season.
For instance, you can easily identify the chronic shopaholics like me: they would usually be alone (religion is a deep, spiritual and personal experience which cannot be shared with other people), dressed very comfortably (in easy to change outfits and shoes designed to withstand 8-hour walking sessions), not missing out on any stores and going through the collection, comparing notes with last season’s collection.
Then you would also come across the aunties, who are new to the mall culture and visibly uncomfortable without their friendly neighbourhood tailor, chattering in the “Indian wear” section, asking the sales staff multiple questions and perpetually in the look-out for Large and Extra Large sizes.
There would also be the pesky, anorexic teenaged gang of girls, who would create a ruckus outside the trial room as they scream at each other, ask inane questions like “does it look fat?” while trying out the Extra Small size for everything.
Further, you can’t miss the newly married, tall, slim and fair Punjabi chick in the hideous combination of jeans along with two dozen bangles, which make a jangling sound every time she tries on a new outfit.
Finally, the most annoying specimen of women who would carry a dozen pieces of clothing inside the trial room, try each of them and come out to display it to an adoring boyfriend/husband, blissfully ignoring the long queue of people waiting for her to finish.
But to my credit, I did not let any of these to come in the way of my single-minded determination, and ended up splurging on six dresses, five tops, capris, three pairs of shoes and two bags along with matching accessories.
My cupboard, currently unable to bear all the excess baggage, has collapsed with my bedroom resembling a walk-in closet, but that’s a small deterrent for a seasoned shopper like me.
And oh, lately I had been totally addicted to yoghurt, and I just can’t get enough of this green apple flavour called Devil Wears Green…
Be the devil, eat the devil and wear the devil on your sleeve…