Monday, April 14, 2008

It's me (continued)

Then began a new phase: a new life in a new city- a city that made me who I am (not a very good person, but definitely, an independent, strong one). I took up Economics in a decent college and for the first time, discovered a world away from my family, away from the safe havens of a comfortable life in the laid back city of Kolkata. After two years of being relegated at the lower half of the class it felt good to be the topper, it felt good to be not lost in class and it felt good when people came to me for help with studies. Unlike seasoned toppers, I knew how it felt to fail: it taught me to be patient, to be humble and to be empathetic. Also, I needed friends in a new city, so it kind of worked out well for me… while Economics was no pain, being in Mumbai alone certainly was as I struggled my way through crowded local trains, the pigeonholes in the name of rooms (in the hostel), the choice between the terrible mess food and the expensive eateries. Did I miss my family- may be, but by then, I was learning to be tough. And when I did miss them, I went shopping! Yeah, I discovered the beauty of retail therapy… I also discovered what I thought was my dream career, i.e. MBA. So, for the first time I really put my heart and soul into studies- CAT, the mother of all competitive exams. So it was a heartbreak when I failed to convert a couple of calls I managed, and even my graduation results weren’t a consolation for what I missed out. Still, I didn’t give up on the MBA dream, and took up a job to strengthen my application. While working, I redefined the concept of humility, I learnt to respect all professions and to deal with situations: humiliating ones, pressurizing ones, sensitive ones…and then I discovered how it felt to fall in love, or the idea of being in love, that beyond all that jazz, the mush, the fancy dates it was still as annoying as being with your family, that no matter how old you are, you are still a kid, that the grass is always greener on the other side! Only that it isn’t… at least the MBA grass definitely isn’t!

The whole point of all this is that I have changed, for better or for worse! May be I have learnt to let go easily, may be I don’t get hurt so easily, but then again, people no longer make that much of a difference to me… that’s the whole point! And it’s not a good thing…




13 comments:

upendra said...

hey shimonti this is devika! upen's sis.....i jus loved ur blogs.....u r jus sooooo good at it! read couple of blogs..especially da 1s on SCMHRD r really cool.... so keep writin.....
dis is ma e-mail id...devika268@yahoo.co.in(so dat we can stay in touch!) tc....

shivangi said...

wow!! ur fans growing!!! am d biggest tho//..!! nice wrk..!!

Shimonti said...

@ devika
hey thnks... u seem to be as smooth a talker as ur brother :)
but really appreciate it...

@ shivangi
u a fan??? thts news to me... usually u r so busy criticising me!

pushkar said...

seema aunty...ka blog likha hai..wah wah wah---Pushkar

Shimonti said...

@ Pushkar

Wow!! compliment from the CR is compliment indeed :) thnks a lot pushkar uncle!

usha said...

if there is an equivalent to the booker prize for blogging ,then this one deserves it!keep writing.it just wow!!!

usha said...

if there is an equivalent to the booker prize for blogging ,then this one deserves it!keep writing.it just wow!!!

Shimonti said...

@ usha aunty
booker prize? wow, i wud nvr dare 2 b sooo ambitious.. but thnx a lot for being so patient n reading thru my loooong ramblings...

ashwin said...

sounds like loads of introspection and catharsis...i can identify wd most of it but dt wont make you look kewl.any which ways since i am the most free radical of the world.keep writing i`l keep reading

Shimonti said...

@ashwin

hey free radical, thnks 4 listening to me crib n then again read abt it :)

soumya said...

heyy, this is soumya. i read a couple of yr blogs. i loved reading all of them specially the one u wrote on bengali new year's day.
lady u could definately become a writer someday!!

Nikhil said...

Dude, you rock. Nice choice of words! and great expression!

Shimonti said...

@soumya
thnks sweety.... i listen 2 ur crap, u read mine!

@ nikhil
u rock too....:)