Wednesday, November 9, 2011


A couple of days back, there were some disturbing changes in my team, none of which I liked. Let me rephrase: all of which I HATED. So I did what my instinct told me to, i.e. call up my dad and whine.

Me: Dad, I have a problem.
Dad: Only one? Aren’t you being too optimistic?

One other recent conversation…

Dad: I think you should get married.
Me: Do you want me to be happy OR married?
Dad: Either way, it doesn’t matter. But I want your mom to be happy and myself to be happily married. So till you get married, she won’t be happy, and till she is happy, I won’t be happily married. It’s about me, not you.

Another not-so-recent conversation…

Me: Do you know XYZ paid Rs. 20 lacs for his son’s education abroad? You are so lucky you never had to invest anything in MY education.
Dad: Is that your excuse for being uneducated?

This time a consultant is at the receiving end…

Consultant: Sir, given our current pipeline and bandwidth along with the demands of the urgent deliverables, I guess we can come up with a timeline for the actionable granularities regarding our end-to-end services as well as our value proposition. I shall bring my manager up-to-speed on this and give you a heads-up as soon as the project gets traction at our end so that we can circle back around and close the loop on the next steps.
Dad: Call me when you learn to speak English. If I can’t understand you, I won’t hire you.

And then the boss…

Boss: Can you please write the CEO speech for the Press Conference?
Dad: Err… but aren’t you the CEO?
Boss: Yeah, but I am a little tied up.
Dad: In your left brain.
Boss: What?
Dad: Nothing. Sometimes I forget you are an IIT engineer. I shall take care of the speech.


Imperfectionist said...


Smita said...

hahahaha, he is incorrigble I say!!!

But I love men who are smart with words :) a hug to your father from me :)

Carpe Diem! said...

hahah! :) Awesome! :)

Nefertiti said...

I see that you identify with the "consultant speak".

thanks! it's only fun when you aren't at the receiving end. but hugs shall be duly transferred :)

@carpe diem!
ahh... finally there you are. and I thought I had lost one of my three readers.

survivingbrain said...


I can imagine the poor things who work under him. May be he should write a book. :D

Carpe Diem! said...

:) Don't worry. Even when I wasn't writing, I was still reading. ;)

Nefertiti said...

umm... surprisingly the "poor things" (those who manage to survive the initial cynicism) actually like him a lot... a mystery I am yet to fathom.

@carpe diem
I am just glad you are back to writing again... you are wayyy too good to NOT write! (by writing I mean on your blog, not commenting on others' blogs).

Carpe Diem! said...

Awww!! Thank you so much! You know exactly what the others want to hear! :) [Wtf did you do an MBA for?! Though, in all honesty, I think it was a much better choice than doing MA Lit. You can always write but you can't always get a well-earning job.]

Nefertiti said...

@carpe diem
that's all they teach you in MBA: to say exactly what others want to hear. n I was in the bottom half of the class. but still, i don't know if it was a BETTER choice, though definitely a more practical one. well-earning?? i have a hand-to-mouth existence so don't believe what you read in the papers.

Anonymous said...

I thinm you will be better off writing a book about him :P

Nefertiti said...


are you saying that otherwise I don't have a shot at getting published?? I see that you still haven't shed your meanness coat...