Thursday, June 30, 2011

Corporate Cannibalism

It’s just one of those days I guess when I feel positively violated, depressed and useless. The usual “my life is going nowhere”, “my job sucks” or “I should just GIVE.UP” platitudes are here, so beware…

Why did I do my MBA? Why oh why?
Why does this stupid job pay me so much money for nothing?
Why can’t I just go back to Kolkata, be with family, get married and just like, GLOW you know? I keep hearing other girls of my age ‘glowing’ because they are getting married or having kids or generally, because they have some sort of an invisible bulb attached to their face. I want to GLOW too…
Or, why can’t I spend our (me, dad, mom) hard-earned INR money on some one-year ‘prestigious’ programme from LSE or Oxford for the sake of ‘experience’ and then discover that it only provides “placement assistance” and come back to India with a 20-lac loan and no job?

So I finished two years of corporate life and I have strong reasons to believe that I can no longer do this sh** even though it pays me enough and allows me to survive bloody inflation. You can’t do ANYTHING for money. I have nothing against my present company; in fact, I think it’s a very good one and I am very thankful for my job. But, but but, there are some things which are common to ALL companies which just doesn’t agree with me:

a)Why do I have to dress up EVERY.BLOODY.TIME some big shot is coming to visit our department for like, oh 10 MINUTES? It’s not like I have to make a presentation or anything; I just have to stand there, look stupid and smile. And when I forgot, I WAS ASKED TO LEAVE THE ROOM… Hmppphhhhh

b)Why can’t people speak in English during team meetings and deliberately throw esoteric jargon which noone understands? In fact, why do people have to speak AT ALL in meetings? In fact, why HAVE meetings in the first place? They are the single-most efficient way of wasting maximum manhours.

Joke from Mumbai Mirror:
How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because they will just call a meeting and define darkness as the new benchmark.

c)Why is networking more important than working? Why are all the better (note, there is no such thing as ‘good’) projects allocated during informal lunch breaks or smoke breaks?

d)Why are people so fond of name-dropping? How does it matter if your work is for the insignificant Mr. XYZ or the hotshot Mr. PQR if you are doing the same bloody thing anyway?

e)Why do we have to sound intelligent ALL the time (and discuss politics/economics/government shortcomings) even during lunch breaks? Give me a break. Why can’t we just vote and like SHUT UP?

P.S. Nobody loves me, nobody likes me, nobody reads my blog also and nobody comments :( Why am I even alive?

9 comments:

Neil said...

I had something to say about the " I just have to stand there, look stupid and smile." bit but I think I shall refrain this time. You seem to be having a Liquid moment.

P.S - Am I the only person reading your blog these days? Awww ....

Nefertiti said...

@neil
Dont be mean to an unloved, unwanted, talentless poor little girl :(

It seems like u ARE the only reader. My desperate attempt to seduce readers y posting everyday seems to have backfired :(

Neil said...

On the other hand your posting every day has meant that Im checking your blog everyday. Which I dont think is any sort of consolation.

I guess its sort of like making a movie for the classes and realising its only the masses that come to watch it. If that made any sense ...

Nefertiti said...

@neil
class or mass, you are THE ONE for this blog. You are No.1 reader, and by No.1 I mean the ONLY one...

Carpe Diem! said...

Hey!

1. Neil is not the only reader of your blog. ;)

2. I really admire your courage and your conviction of giving up on this job to do something that you really love. It's not easy to give up that comfort zone at all. :)

3. Your description of the corporate world has reminded me of a couple people I know - the name dropping and assuming that you are the centre of the world. I am glad that there are some people like you who recognize the fakeness of it all.

4. Good luck with the blog-a-day challenge! :D

Nefertiti said...

@carpe diem
yippie... I have non-loser readers too!! plz plz plz dnt leave me...

and no, i hvnt YET had the courage to quit my boring job. still stuck in the 'zone'... :(

Carpe Diem! said...

Well, so long as "yet" is the operative word. :)

ssoggo said...

Hey, I'm your reader too!!
And about not being happy with a job coz you're paid well for nothing, think of it this way:
You could have been not paid well for nothing. At least being paid well beats that..!

Trust me, I speak from experience... And with regret.

Nefertiti said...

@carpe diem
it's a lonnnng "yet"...

@ssoggo
m not complaining about the pay, but I would to be paid for something I like doing.ut it's def better than not being paid AT ALL