Thursday, November 22, 2012

WWW: Winter, Weddings and Work

Ok, so winter is almost here, and it’s time for two of my pet peeves, when it comes to blogging, i.e. weddings and work. Year after year, you would read about the same things, rehashed and packaged differently, but year after year, you would continue reading. Yes, all five and a half of you, I am talking to you morons! I guess the political and corporate rhetoric over the years have immuned you to hollow repetitive discussions, which is why you still come back to my blog.

So, three of my friends are getting married in the next three weeks, two are getting engaged and a full cricket squad of acquaintances are planning to walk down the aisle, all of which have collectively caused my parents to assume their roles as victims of domestic violence. This week one of my cousins got married, the last one of my generation, except of course, me. My dad, no longer able to handle the social pressures, escaped to some developing country (he is right now on a Vietnam vacation), leaving my mom to bravely stand up to the barrage of questions/comments ranging from:

a)So, when do we get the invitation for Nefertiti? She is next (in the line of firing)…
b)Is she seeing anybody? Do you want US to do something? (yes, please go drown yourself in the Ganges)…
c)Why aren’t you trying harder to find a 30-year old fully grown man boy? Try XYZ matrimonial site; it’s got the biggest hit rate after the Savita Bhabi site shut down…
d)We hate to say “I told you so”, but we DID tell you so: that it’s not a good idea to let your daughter leave home so early in life…
e)You should ask her to come back to Kolkata and then we can find her very nice Bengali boys who work with TCS in Salt Lake and have bought an under-construction apartment in Rajarhat.

At the workplace, it’s the time for maximum mayhem, with the organization going through its annual round of restructuring, firing people left, right and centre to save on humongous bonuses with bosses screaming themselves hoarse with the same recorded statement used every year: “These are turbulent times in the financial sector. We are exploiting the potential for increased synergies within the bank and aligning ourselves to deal with critical challenges posed by the economic downturn, regulatory issues and slowing demand, so that we are positioned strongly enough against our competitors in order to emerge as leaders in the industry.” If the employee is awake through the entire statement, all she hears is: “Please consider yourself lucky to have a job and don’t expect hikes/bonuses.”

If you thought there was a cold vibe in the air, it’s not coming from Pakistan, but from closer at home

5 comments:

Rehmann said...

Whos the half in five and half?

Funny post btw. I am a fan!

xibi said...

Points 'a' through 'e' ditto for my case too.. Ofcourse the name and place changed :D :D

Nefertiti said...

@rehmann
welcome!! and the half is my kid brother who ONLY reads my blog when I threaten him with dire consequences. and I have a fan?? yayyy!! keep reading!

@xibi
ahhh... welcome to the club! or are we veteran members by now?

jo said...

Ha ha, when you were putting down e) i just realised the marriage market is a barter of cliches :) and when i hear words such as synergies, my bs radar goes crazy

Nefertiti said...

@jo
yes yes only a fellow bong will understand the cliche of e) :)
as for my bs radar, by now it's quite immuned to nonsense, but at times does get my blood boiling