Of finance and flunking!

So I flunked one of my finance papers; not really surprising and it’s not like I have flunked for the first time in my life! But still, the thought of studying for that paper again and spending money (we have to pay 250 bucks per paper for the backlog) is kind of daunting, especially now that only a few more months are left and I really really don’t want to study anymore, at least finance any more!

The more I think about why I took up finance, the more stupefied I am… it was more by elimination rather than by choice! It’s like I don’t like marketing, operations is too difficult, HR requires a lot of hard work, so finance is all I am left with. I did economics, followed by a stint in a bank, and my dad is a finance guy who reads finance books for PLEASURE, and he raves and rants about it, so yeah, I thought let’s check out what’s so great about it. As it turns out, it really doesn’t fascinate me.

Then I got thinking: my dad really has more influence on me than I give him credit for! I mean I am always trying to project this image of me as a fiercely independent, strong headed, totally liberal person who does her own thing, and may be to a certain extent, I do, but if I think about it, “my own thing” is something which my dad approves of! May be subconsciously I only do stuff that he wants me to do- from reading to sports to career to guys- there hasn’t been much conflict between us, which is scary given the generation gap. In fact my favourite cricketer is Mohammad Azharuddin! Come to think of it, it’s the same for him… but yeah we did fight it out during Grand Slam matches with me rooting for Monica Seles and he for Steffy Graf. But then again, I read up Enid Blyton and Ayn Rand and Jeffrey Archer and PG Wodehouse because he was crazy about them. My best friends are usually people that he gets along with really well. And if I am confused about anything, I simply accept his suggestion, no questions asked! One of my friends told me that my biggest weakness is my dad, and I guess he is right…

But now, I am suddenly faced with a life changing decision: so will finance come between me and my dad? He wants me to do my CA/CFA next, and I am adamant that I am doing nothing of that sort!! I refuse to derive the same sort of pleasure out of finance like he does. So for the first time in my life, I really want to do “my own thing”, which is really my own…