Saturday, July 16, 2011

Bombay Blues


I used to love Mumbai; I used to believe that I would live here forever; It was the city which accepted things no questions asked; It was the city which shrugged its shoulders and moved on from one tragedy to another; It was the city which gave you hope; It was the city where people from all walks of life could just walk in to make their dreams come true…

But most of all, it was the city which let me be…

Some people call it apathy, but for me that was the biggest gift: I could walk around alone not caring what time it was, I could wear what I wanted, I could be with whoever I wanted, I could be free…

I was addicted to the indifference, the chaos and the life in the fast lane…

Until, I don’t know when, I started feeling differently: the city has stopped making sense to me, it has slowly but surely robbed me off the finer sensibilities, it has made me so tough that I have learnt to just exist without living…

I have stopped caring, I have stopped crying, I have stopped being…

I have started shrugging, I have started surviving, I have started selling my soul…

Now I have goals instead of a dream, desires instead of a will, tasks instead of a passion…


I have BECOME Mumbai, instead of just living here…

10 comments:

Nidhi said...

Beautifully writen. I love each one of your blogs. Everytime i read then i say wow... But u know, this one, it makes me a lil worried..

Neil said...

As a kid Im sure your favourite game must have been hide n seek. Too short though. Your post. Not you. Dont shoot the messenger.

Nefertiti said...

@nid
thanks... and don't be worried... i guess it happens to everybody. we imbibe the essence of the place we live in.

@neil
you only comment on posts which are sad/where a pretty girl has already commented so that you can start a conversation.
As for the post being too short, unlike you, I have consideration for the readers. If they want to fall asleep/die of boredom, they will go to YOUR blog.
And stop being mean on a public forum and contnue bitching behind my back...

Neil said...

Someone woke up on the right side of bed today and it shows! There's nothing like some Sunday morning meanness. And who is beaching behind your back? Anon?

Nefertiti said...

@neil
i have had reports that u have been saying really mean things about me behind my back. as long as u dont bring that onto my blog, I am fine

Carpe Diem! said...

Wow, I had written a similar post and titled it "The Bombay Blues" a couple weeks ago too!! It's surreal, how everybody feels the same and continues despite that.

Individualism works in very strange ways in this country. When calamity strikes, amongst thousands of people, we are "Bombayites" and that's our only identity - our "spirit and resilience" that have been so critiqued recently. But, in social situations, we are "our own individuals" and have the freedom to do what we want without having to expect any repercussions. But again, at work, we are just one among many and will be replaced without so much as a thought the moment we slack.

Neil said...

Vilifying me to gain cheap sympathy & in the hope that people stop visiting my blog. Tsk tsk! Your reporter has only heard about the serial bunking which you know about. Hmmmm, must investigate. Time to get my detective hat on ....

jo said...

how true! and everyone eventually comes around to it..great blog.

Nefertiti said...

@carpe diem

not continuing isnt exactly an option is it? And I swear I didnt rip off the post from yours :)

@neil
dude, reality check! People started visiting your blog only AFTER you started making a nuisance of yourself on mine...
and what serial bunking? (innocent look)

@jo
welcome back.. and nice to see you post a new entry AND a comment...

Carpe Diem! said...

Heh, I wasn't implying that you did. Mine isn't half as articulate as your post. It just rambles on and on and you have to look with a micro-scope for the point. :P